Spring Blooms

It's the 1st day of spring and the first full day of having my blessed shadow angel service dog. I have been blessed beyond belief for this precious girl to now be a part of every aspect of my life!

Things have been rapidly changing around me, quicker than I can keep up with, but I am doing my best to hang in there! Since the start of the year, I found out that my dad filed for divorce because he wanted to marry someone younger than me...yes, you read that correctly...the girl is barely out of her teens and already has a son. The age gap is a 47-year difference and makes me gag anytime I think about it...this has sent me on an emotional whirlwind and led to many meltdowns. My poor mom is barely holding herself together and at this point it is difficult for us to help each other. With the spring season starting, my hope is that things with the divorce move quicker so that my mom and I can finally have peace and settle.

Another change is that I lost my music teaching job because of my mental illness and because they did not want to accommodate my service dog...that has been a big challenge itself and also led to a very scary suicidal meltdown that gave my support system a scare...BUT God. He surrounded me with my loved ones and did not let me go to extreme measures and I have since picked myself back up and have a few full-time job opportunities now available to me where I will hopefully get to work in Christian community. With the spring season starting, my hope is that I maintain a routine and get to grow professionally in a supportive work environment that accepts all of me and where I can use my gifts to bring God glory.

With more time in my schedule, I have been blessed to become more involved in my church and to grow my friend group even more and to gain more connections and meaningful friendships in Georgia. I have been exploring more of the Atlanta area, and I am getting more familiar with my surroundings. I recently travelled back to Texas to surprise one of my sister-friends for her bachelorette party and when I flew back to Georgia, I knew I was going home, and it felt good to know that it does feel like home now and that brings a level of comfort. With the spring season starting, my hope is that I continue to grow and learn to give back to my community and relationships on an even deeper level.

As for my writing...I have signed on with a literary agent and we have been working closely to get my 2nd book edited and prepared to be submitted to different publishing houses. It has been exciting but also hard work as I debated on many different titles and have also been collecting endorsement quotes when I can. The title has now been changed to "Brokenness Restored: The Path to Recovery is a Healing Journey." With the spring season starting, my hope is that everything is solidified so that the submission to publishing houses can commence and the waiting game for potential publishers may begin!

Another big change is the fact that I decided to move into my aunt's basement because it was the most logical decision to make. At first, I was worried, but family has shown me nothing but immense care and love. I got to decorate my room just the way I like it, and it makes my heart happy to know that it screams my name because it is filled with all things ME, my collages, and of course my stuffed panda collection! With the spring season starting, my hope is that I continue to settle in and embrace a new level of independence that this has given me the opportunity to step into.

Perhaps the biggest change of all, is accepting a service dog into my life to help me be the best that I can be. I was hesitant at the idea when my treatment team brought up the idea because I knew that it is a big commitment and a complete lifestyle change. It is only the first day, but I knew it was the right decision as I cried in deep anxiety last night and my precious shadow angel licked my tears away and comforted me. She brought my breathing down and calmed my nervous system enough for me to fall asleep. If she can do that on the first night, I can't imagine how else God might use her in my life so that I am at my best to do His work. It will be a challenge for sure, but you will be updated along this new journey! With the spring season starting, my hope is that my service dog and I become a team so that we are both performing at our best and that she supports me along this recovery journey as I hold tight to the reminder that this life is worth living.

There are so many new blooms this spring season and I can't wait to see where all the new adventures take us...may all the glory be given to God above and may you be blessed this spring season as our world comes into full bloom! <3